Can you remember the last time you listened to someone and relied on that person to make a decision?
Maybe you listened to your mother, your friend, your colleague…
The thing is, it’s not bad to listen to others.
It’s bad to listen to the wrong people on a given subject.
Relevance
Generally speaking, people give instant advice during a conversation, even if they are talking about something they don’t know anything about. That’s the unconscious mirror effect (they put themselves in the place of the other).
When you are looking for advice, make sure the person you seek advice from actually has credibility and relevant advice to give.
Negativity
Nowadays, in Western countries, a lot of people tend to be pessimistic about life. Hence, they spread negative thoughts and vibes, especially when they feel insecure about something.
People are average because they are limiting themselves daily because of their haughty certainty and limiting beliefs.
Don’t follow the herd.
If you are a student and want to receive a good salary from your first job, do not listen to other alumni making less money than you aim for. You can take a look at your school’s average entry-level wages but keep in mind that’s just an average. You are not average. You are exceptional.
Maybe you will hear that your expectations are not realistic enough. But since you are an outsider thinking outside of the box, the odds make that you'll be the exception that proves the rule if you finally get what you strove for.
Don’t be ashamed to spark jealousy. That’s human nature.
Emotions
As humans beings, we let our emotions influence ourselves and, therefore our rationality.
People who are brilliant at reasoning often have devil-may-care attitudes that make them more neutral and accurate in their analysis.
Social context
People tend to adopt the ideas shared by their underlying social category, most of the time unconsciously (I advise you to read Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki).
Ego
Ego is the enemy: a natural-born logic killer and emotion amplifier.
Probably the biggest reason why most of us don’t do well during debates.
Debates occurring on live media are rarely useful since opposing parties tend to entrench themselves on their position (and social identity biases strengthen that) and know they’re being watched.
Conclusion
Trust yourself. Listen to others to challenge your beliefs but don’t let them dictate your choices.
You have to understand and accept diverging ideas and merge them with yours to complete critical reasoning.
Please note that I don’t encourage you to listen only to yourself and be lofty; the key message here is to be selective when listening to other people.
